How Should Christian Singles Date?
August 21, 2011 by Admin
Filed under Ministry Updates, Relationships
What’s the “real deal†regarding Christian Singles? We asked various singles ministry leaders…here’s what they said…
Basic Steps
Shanick:
I would say the first and most important step would be to have someone whom you are accountable. As a Christian, there must be someone you can call and say who you are with and what your plans are. This must be someone you trust, but more importantly. someone who lives according to the word of God and who will be honest with you.
Secondly, you must be honest with yourself in regards to your weaknesses. If you cannot trust that you can go out on a date alone without compromising your walk with Christ then you should not. You may not be ready for dating. There are many who do group dating, but many do not believe that you can really get a sense of who a person is, or spend quality time being in a group. Seeking God first will be the guide
Should Christians Date non-Christians?
No. Some Christian women (more than Christian men) date outside of their faith. Many have said that they are praying that he converts, and opens his heart to Christ. They call this “missionary†dating, but I don’t believe that this is a good practice.
The word says “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
What about sex? Is there an idea of “everybody’s doing itâ€?
I don’t believe that the idea of “everybody’s doing it” is out there, but we do know that it is happening in large numbers.
When you make a conscious choice to live by the word of God you have the instructions of why you shouldn’t.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 warns us, “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners shall inherit the kingdom of God.”
Corinthians 6:13b, 18 tells us, “Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without (outside) the body; but he that commiteth fornication sinneth against his own body.” The word is true and it is always right. It is up to the individual to be obedient or not. Your choice does not change the word.
The title of this article needs to be “Should Christian Singles Be Dating”?
The term “Dating” suggests going out with “multiple” persons to discover if he or she is “the one”. If Bible-believing Christians accept God as the Creator of all things, why would they not accept His ability to choose their future spouse. God is Love~would He want His people to suffer through anguish and heartache by giving a “piece” of themselves every time they date someone?
What happened to the phrase “A match made in heaven”? In the book of Jeremiah, God says, “BEFORE I FORMED you in the womb, I KNEW YOU, before you were born I SET YOU APART…”(1:5). In Psalm, King David says, “You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar, You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with ALL my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely, O Lord” (139:2-4). From these verses, one can gather that God knows His people “intimately”. He has ALREADY set things in place for each person who believes in Him. If one wants to know about their future, follow what the Bible teaches. Fasting, Praying, and studying God’s Word will open up the “spiritual flood-ways” to give one understanding about which path and direction to follow.
In summary,
God knows our heart and He is very concerned about our feelings. He knew Adam was lonely, thus, he created Eve; He knew Issac needed a wife to comfort him when his mom (Sarah) died, thus, He instructed Abraham to tell his servant to go to his hometown and pick out a wife for his son. Trust God to orchestrate your love life! YOU will ONLY mess it up and end up hurt and disappointed. Further, you probably will choose someone God did not intend for you to marry:-( This is a “life-long” choice so it pays BIG to put it in the HANDS OF GOD!!
Peace & Grace♥
Trust in the Lord with ALL your HEART and lean NOT to your own understanding; in ALL your ways ACKNOWLEDGE Him, and He will make your PATHS STRAIGHT~Proverbs 3:5-6
My Pastor has really studied this issue and she can’t find “dating” in the bible until the couple was courting. We frown on dating at my church unless the MAN beleives that God has shown him his wife and then they immediatly start pre- marital counseling. Some couples knew they were not compatible after only 1 or 2 sessions. And since their was no sexual sin involved they had a clean break and no ones heart was broken. Purity is the key. Even if you decide to date remember that the other person is your sis/bro until marriage.
One at time and Make sure their not dating a married person.
With the state of the Church and the people that call themselves “Christian”, you really can’t say. We are not supposed to date people who are unevenly yoked with believers, but who says that the person you meet in your home church is saved? That is such a big issue now.. there are not only manipulators in the pulpit, but also in the congregation. I had two different situations, one with an unsaved man and a saved man… the unsaved told me that I should just come and spend the night with him and then we get up and go to church.. huh? then the unsaved one told me that, “If a man doesn’t find me worthy of marrying, then I will die a virgin..” What! One spoke in tongues and the other drank and partyed. Two different believers, same situation… why? I really dont’ trust dating anymore because both saved and unsaved, people expect something after the date. I always said now that I would make a note of how much this man spends on the date, that way after the date is over, I can tally and give him back all of this money when he start saying, “well, you owe me!” Dating is very unsafe now… don’t know at all what to do!