The Dating Game…Who’s Winning?
May 22, 2011 by Admin
Filed under Relationships
Is a Good Man (or Woman) Really Hard to Find?
by Sharon Frame
“If you look at the numbers of Black men over the age of 18, not in prison, not homosexual and interested in having committed relationship, you still have two and a half million black men in the D.C.-Richmond, Virginia corridor alone. That’s a lot of guys! You can’t tell me there are no good guys out there.â€
A new 2011 dating study by Match.Com challenges long-held stereotypes about male commitment. The survey found that men are just as eager as women to fall in love, get married and commit to a long-term relationship.
The Battle Between the Sexes
So….what’s poisoning the love potion? Chances are you’ve heard them before:
What women say about men:
• Men are afraid of commitment
• Men are intimidated by strong, successful women
• Most black men want to date white women
• Men want a relationship for sexual gratification
• Men don’t prefer women who already have children
What Men say about women:
• A woman’s idea of security is access to my bank account
• Many women don’t think they need a man
• Most women are loud, bossy and tear down men
• Women just want men to take care of them
• Women are not that interested in sex after they get married
Of course these claims are generalizations, but they can be deadly weapons in the ballet between the sexes.
Brunson says these strongly held beliefs are media-driven perceptions that create our reality.
Sisters! Slow Down!
Cynika Drake is the CEO of Lavish Lifestyles, a membership personal concierge service specializing in arranging one-of-a-kind romantic experiences and unique adventures.
Drake is beautiful, intelligent, educated, ambitious and single. Several months ago, she moved her business from California to New York, partly to get close to a deeper dating pool, but also to pursue her own “love connection.†However, her eagerness to get serious led to a painful love lesson.
She thought she had met the man of her dreams. “I went from zero to 60,†she says. “I didn’t take the time to get to know the guy. I automatically assumed he wanted to be in a relationship. I automatically went into girlfriend mode.
“He told me he had intimacy issues stemming from his childhood. I wanted to work with him but he said he didn’t need my help. I realized, you just can’t change someone. On paper, this guy was what I was looking for; but I realized it was putting more of a burden on me because I was trying to prove to him that I was a good woman.â€
Drake’s Observations/Advice:
• When people show you who they are, believe them. Cut your losses and move on.
• Let him hunt. A man will kill time with a female who pursues, until he finds someone worth pursuing. Then he’s gone.
• Slow down and be a friend first. Most happy couples say they married their best friend.
What do YOU think? Blog about it here….
Dating is for non-believers in Christ, it leads to fornication.
(Psalm 146:3) Do not put YOUR trust in nobles, Nor in the son of earthling man, to whom no salvation belongs.
(Psalm 56:11) In God I have put my trust. I shall not be afraid. What can earthling man do to me?
(John 7:31) Still, many of the crowd put faith in him; and they commenced saying: “When the Christ arrives, he will not perform more signs than this man has performed, will he?â€
(Ecclesiastes 7:20) For there is no man righteous in the earth that keeps doing good and does not sin.
(John 17:3) This means everlasting life, their taking in knowledge of you, the only true God, and of the one whom you sent forth, Jesus Christ.
We believe there are many good Males & Females available for Marriage. We feel that People need to take God Godly Counsel before Marriage but look at the lives, Marriage, Family & Fruits of the Person giving the advise.
I believe whether saved or not, should be able to date and get to know someone. That’s why we as women have to use Wisdom and not our hearts. I don’t believe that God has this one special person for you. We as women have the power to choose the one we want to be with but it would be wise to be led of God.
Dating is for all who are willing to find love and i believe it creates time for the dating persons to learn each other … what i don’t see appropriate is dating for a long period it doesn’t make sense coz you will lead yourselves to fornication … and yes I agree women should give themselves first as friends and pray to God to show & guide you so that you maybe able to know he is the right person …
The Bible says in Proverbs 18:22 – Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. The problem is that women are looking for men, when they should be getting lost in order for the man to find them. Get lost in The Word, get lost in prayer and consecration, and in due time the husband will come. God is more concerned about our souls than our soulmate.
I am a 34 year old single woman and I say that it is very hard to find a good man. I am one who is in a different category: Virtuous! No one talks about this subject at all.. the fact that there are women and men in the church who choose to be a virgin or avoid sexual contact before marriage. I have seen men in the church who expect the same response from you as a woman on the street! After the first few times they spend their money, they want to get inside of you! What! I don’t understand this and someone please explain that to me. Are we all reading the same Bible? I have even had saints tell me that I should just give myself away and God will forgive me because there are so many people being sexually active…. I don’t want a man’s money, or any of his other assets.. All I want is trust and a true relationship. Sometimes people can play a real good role by even joining the church and fool you to sleep with them… All I can say is be a man or woman about yours and stop trying to gain bedroom partners… Where are the true men of God? Someone tell me because I will relocate with no problems….
If the men are out here, where are they? How and where does one begin to look? It states in the bible that you should not go looking for a man, but that he will come to you.