Same-Sex Marriages?…Not at My Church!
December 20, 2010 by Admin
Filed under Church, Gospel Today Features
by Darryl Izzard
Arguments have been brewing across the country for the past 12-18 months as recent court rulings on same-sex marriage have surfaced. Your pastor could very likely find himself in the midst of deciding whether to perform the same-sex nuptials or not.
Same-sex marriage, also referred to as gay marriage, is marriage between two persons of the same sex. The federal government of the United States does not recognize the marriages of same-sex couples and is prohibited from doing so by the Defense of Marriage Act. However, gay couples across the country are becoming increasingly vocal about their wishes to be acknowledged and are now hoping to receive the same dignity, respect, services and benefits that any other married couple has.
What is your church or organization’s position on the issue? Has the meaning of marriage clearly been defined in your church covenant, code of conduct or membership manual? If not, your pastor or church family could be accused of discrimination based on sexual orientation.
A number of churches have been proactive and updated their official membership documents for future legal protection covering them from any possibility of discriminatory accusations. Some have even started to perform gay marriages.
“Our church is the first and only traditional black church in the District of Columbia to perform same-sex unions,†explains Dennis W. Wiley, Pastor of Covenant Baptist Church, Washington, D.C. “For us, the courage to perform same-sex unions is in keeping with the proudest traditions of our Baptist and congregational heritage. Within the Baptist tradition of freedom and autonomy, Covenant Baptist Church has a long history of progressive ministry emphasizing social justice, service to the community and inclusion.
Still other Christians vehemently oppose the idea of forcing pastors or justices of the peace by law to perform these ceremonies all in the name of not discriminating.
“I do believe that consenting adults have the right to do what they want in the privacy of their own home but, they don’t have the right to impose “their desire” on society as a whole… Let us protect their right to decide to live and commit themselves to one another (same-sex) but, let us not confuse that right with a right to call it “marriage” when in fact their union can never ever contribute to the procreation of the human race.†– Brian Neilson, Rhode Island.
But, what if a gay couple in your church decides to ask your pastor to marry them and your pastor refuses. Moreover, what happens if the church refuses to allow the couple to continue as members? Can your pastor or your church be sued for discrimination based on sexual behavior? Possibly, if the church has been operating under an “all comers†policy that does not specifically define marriage or it’s expectation of acceptable Christian behavior! The outcome of the issue may rest largely upon your churches legal bylaws and general membership covenant adopted by your church and distributed to every member.
“Several years ago, our congregation unanimously adopted a vision statement that we recite together every Sunday morning as a reminder that ‘all are welcome, regardless of race, ethnicity, class, gender, age or sexual orientation.’ In leading our congregation to adopt this vision, we knew that one day we would face the question of same-sex marriage,†says Pastor Wiley.
Is your church prepared to address the issue? Should your pastor be required to marry couples of the same sex?
Same-sex marriages are currently granted by five of the 50 states, the federal district, and one Indian tribe: In Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Washington, D.C., marriages for same-sex couples are legal and currently performed.
It’s a crying shame that society keeps attempting to force its standards on the house of God. However, God always has an answer to society. The Bible says in Matt 16:18 “And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.†Jesus meant this as he does with all that proceeds out of the mouth of God. Sin, in any form is not acceptable, period! This does not mean that homosexual people will not attend church service. In service is where we all need to be. We all need this to strive against all sin, including homosexuality, thievery, lying, etc, etc.
I am sure my pastor will not allow same sex marriages. I know I will never support it. I am bound by the Holy Spirit not to, as any Bible believing, God fearing Minister, Pastor or Bishop is, as well.
As Christians, we have a responsibility to govern our decisions by what God’s Word says, not, what denominations and their traditions have to say. God’s Word says that homosexuality is an abomination. Why are segments of the Body of Christ attempting to adapt the Bible to what the world says is acceptable, as opposed to vice-versa? I would not advocate that homosexuals not be allowed to be members of a church, but, God established marriage as between a man and a woman. That is the criterion that a pastor should follow.
I don’t know if marriage is an intrinsic right, but I would imagine that it is an institution that is subject to the approval of a qualified official, which would be a pastor, a judge, justice of the peace or any other court official (depending on the state).
Even though common law marriages are an exception, I think that marriage was designed to be officiated as a means to authorize only those who qualify to be married in the eyes of the official.
For instance, in my church, my pastor reserves the right to refuse the performance of a marriage ceremony if the couple did not attend counseling or for whatever reason, he thinks that they should not be married. If you think about the whole structure of a wedding, it appears that various checks and balances were put in place so that people could not indiscriminately get married. I think that this is the reason why the invited guests are referred to as “witnesses” and it is the reason why they make the “let them speak now or forever hold their peace” clause during the ceremony. Even when you have the best man, the bride’s maid, and all of the other wedding party participants, they are essentially saying that they are in support of this wedding.
So having said all of that, with all of the reasons why a pastor can/would refuse to perform a ceremony, I think that refusing to perform a same-sex marriage wouldn’t be any different.
@ Min. Perry Ashford, I agree with you, well said.
Hate the sin not the sinner and with that being said gay marriage, same sex anything is against God’s will (see: Leviticus 18:22). There’s man’s law and then there’s God’s law. I understand if we ar eto obey the laws of the land but if man’s law contradicts God’s law then I’m not for it. Abortion is legal(man’s law) but God is clearly against that so does that mean some churches should start allowing abortions to take place in the church also? Too many people get caught up in religion and not relationship. I don’t have a problem speaking to any sinner ’cause I was there once and it took someone showing me the love of God without compromising who they are to draw me to him. Too much compromising going on these days all in an effort to reach souls. This is one situation in which the ends don’t justify the means. Matter of fact the ends and means don’t justify anything in the Kingdom. If man says yes and God says no then the answer is still no.
I know my pastor has stated that you can legalize same-sex unions all you want I’m not performing it even if it means going to jail. People in the Bible were willing to adhere to God’s will even if it meant death( i. e. the 3 Hebrew boys and the furnace). In the last days people will start calling the right wrong and the wrong right. I pray that we continue to seek Him and not each other for THE answer.
No weapon formed shall prosper.
As people of God we have allowed this demon to come and sit with us in the churches. Allowing the spirit to get comfortable. They play the pianos and participate where it is convenient for us. Now we want to take stands. We should having been taking a stand all the time. Now this filthy spirit is running rampant. As a minister of truth, I believe that it is our responsibility to love everyone, but we should make sure that any one serving in the house is fit for duty. No sin will be allowed in the kingdom, therefore it should not be at the piano either. (JUST A EXAMPLE) Stop being scared of loosing folks, speak up and out and help people overcome this, it is sin, just like everything else, it just more infectious. Marriage should not even be on the table for sin. How can you entertain this and say you believe the word of God in its fullness? The church is quickly loosing it standard, and if the values that we once stood for are not put back in the church, sin is always going to be a option. Same sex marriage is sin. MAN AND WOMAN UP, THE CHURCH HAS A VOICE TOO, BUT WHERE ARE YOU?
God created an ordered universe. Humans can neither marry outside of the species nor within the gender.
While church is where all sinful persons should be, no Bible believing pastor/Associate
should be forced to perpetuate sinful lifestyle choices as a result of the state’s
attempts at legislating morality. Ethical and moral behavior come as a result of
ones exposure to a sound set of cultural and moral teachings wrought in the home
and the church and not by force or by the stroke of someones pen. No matter
what gays may think or believe, their lifestyle is unnatural and immoral.
most pastors theses day’s don’t FEAR God..the go with the money and Fame..Don’t forget judgment is coming, infact it has already stared….
This article is “spot on”. Our firm, Chitwood & Chitwood, has been involved with nonprofit issues, consulting and compliance for over 40 years. Our recent research into this subject indicates that in order to not be accused of any form of discrimination you must let it be known that this is a behavioral issue that is not condoned and is not imposed against a class or group, just for being a member of that group.
In order to accomplish this there are certain definitions and wordings that should be in the Statement of Faith and a Scriptural Conduct Clause. There are also covenants that need to be read and acknowledged by certain groups or people within the church.
If your church, and Pastor, do not want to get into a situation that requires actions or services that you do want to perform, or you do not want to be forced to become a “church of inclusion” action needs to be taken to amend the Bylaws and prepare the proper covenants.
Good Morning, first and foremost if this is going on in your church, gay people worshiping in your church, if the message is being brought strictkly from the Bible there ways should eventually leave them. Remeber you are not born gay and feelings and emotions and how you feel physically about a person clouds your mind and your sexual orientation changes because of such things lets remeber that is not of God. No pastor should be promoting nothing of the such because the Bible does not teach that if they are writing their own material and feels they are going by man made writings thats another story. My God has condemn, homosexuality, fornication, adultry none will enter into the kingdom of heaven. So if a pastor is doing so like your pastor he is doing it because he wants to do it because God condemns such action. I hope your congregation will stand because they all will fall running behind Man!!
Would Jesus do it? NO! They are to open with this sin. When I or you walk in a church can you see a liar? Can you see a fornicator, adulterer, a thief, a whoremonger etc..? No you can’t tell, but this homosexual sin is TOOOOOOOO open! Let me share with you all what God said to me. This is the plan of satin to stop God’s creation, if it’s planted in the church then he wins. Can’t you see this through discernment? STOP GOD’S CREATION. This is the largest demonic spirit on earth and growing. Only the true people of God can bind this demon spirit. But we MUST STAND UP NOW, if we really love you we will tell you the TRUTH. Jesus said I tell you the TRUTH! If man says yes and God says no then the answer is still no. Too much compromising going on these days.
FYI, The government making same-sex marriage legal does not mean that churches will be mandated to perform marriages. The church still has the autonomy to decide who they will or won’t marry.
I believe that you are “born” gay simply because we are all born into sin, which could actually be that sin of homosexuality, which then is why God’s word tells us that we “must” be born again. If one is attending a church or becomes a member of such, one goes or should go through the channels of church membership, the road to salvation, which by the way our walk does not stop at salvation, but it starts there and moves us into sanctification. Jelly back preachers who perform such an act, clearly will be judged by God for going against the very grain of what Christianity is! Probably then why the bible tells us that not many whom called on HIs name will be there. If you are gay, seek deliverance, if Donny McClurkin can be freed from it, so can you, but that flesh ain’t no joke. Lastly, woe unto the pastor who performs such, but the bottom line is that this should never lead to lawsuits ever because sadly I must say, there are plenty of so called pastors of churches that will even forget God’s word to perform such an institution which is clearly against God’s ways. God bless,
what is this world coming to? of course pastors should be allowed to decide whether or not they want to marry gay people and on the slip side – why would you want someone to marry you who doesnt think its right? helloooo move on!!!