Is Sex Before Marriage Still a No, No?
November 22, 2010 by Admin
Filed under Gospel Today Features, Relationships
By Darryl Izzard
If you really want to know how people feel about the answer to this question just look around you! Judging from the actions and lifestyles in our world today, it is apparent that many people agree that sex before marriage is NOW acceptable; but how does God feel about it?
Statistics show that In the U.S., 7 in 10 women had sex before age 14, and nationally, nearly one million young women under age 20 become pregnant each year. That means close to 2800 teens get pregnant each day. (Facts in Brief: Teen Sex and Pregnancy, The Alan Guttmacher Institute, New York, 2006). These are startling numbers but there’s more. Teen childbearing alone costs U.S. taxpayers nearly $7 billion annually for social services and lost tax revenues. (Kids Having Kids: Economic Costs and Social Consequences of Teen Pregnancy, Prebecca Maynard (ed.), The Urban Institute, Washington, DC, 2007). Are people cool with having sex before marriage now…yes? Is God cool with it…NO?
How can we be so sure how God feels about it? Many youth and young adults both feel that sex is a vital part of their lives and that it was given by God for them to enjoy. Moreover, sex is everywhere and everybody’s doing it! It’s in many commercials, movies, TV shows and it’s also infused in just about every hip hop and R & B hit that’s on the music charts today. So, how can you say it’s wrong and why would God give us a sexual organ and not want us to use it? Well, let’s take a closer look.
As noted on “gotquestions.org” there is no Hebrew or Greek word used that precisely refers to sex before marriage. The Bible clearly condemns adultery and sexual immorality, but is sex before marriage considered sexually immoral? According to 1 Corinthians 7:2, the clear answer is yes: But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. In this verse, Paul states that marriage is the “cure†for sexual immorality. First Corinthians 7:2 is essentially saying that, because people cannot control themselves and so many are having immoral sex outside of marriage, people should get married. Then they can fulfill their passions in a moral way.
Since 1 Corinthians 7:2 clearly includes sex before marriage in the definition of sexual immorality, all of the Bible verses that condemn sexual immorality as being sinful also condemn sex before marriage as sinful. Sex before marriage is included in the biblical definition of sexual immorality. There are numerous Scriptures that declare sex before marriage to be a sin (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible promotes complete abstinence before marriage. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves (Hebrews 13:4). 

So are we supposed to enjoy sex? Yes, but God’s intent was not just for pleasure. Far too often we focus on the “recreational†aspect of sex without recognizing that there is another aspect—procreation. Sex within marriage is pleasurable, and God designed it that way. God wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity within the confines of marriage. Song of Solomon and several other Bible passages (such as Proverbs 5:19) clearly describe the pleasure of sex. However, the couple must understand that God’s intent for sex includes producing children. Thus, for a couple to engage in sex before marriage it is doubly wrong: they are enjoying pleasures not intended for them, and they are potentially creating a human life outside of the God intended family structure. Additionally, they are also putting themselves at risk for contracting sexually transmitted diseases.
While practicality does not determine right from wrong, if the Bible’s message on sex before marriage were obeyed, there would be far less sexually transmitted diseases, abortions, unwed mothers and unwanted pregnancies. Abstinence is God’s only policy when it comes to sex before marriage. It saves lives, protects babies, gives sexual relations the proper value, and, most importantly, honors God.
Sex is for married people only! I’ll say it again, SEX IS FOR MARRIED PEOPLE ONLY! I have discussions with youth all the time about the life that I lead. I am 33years old and they say that I look like I am 19! Why, the blessings of the Lord make it rich and add no sorrow. I never slept with anyone and I do not plan on making that move until a ring is on my finger. Sex was not sent for enjoyment purposes only! Society has changed that concept of procreation. Animals are the only ones that do it right, they mate! WE don’t mate we just have sex now! “oh, she is a 10, or he is the bomb.. yo, I gotta have that!” where does that fine or banging exterior get you, into trouble! there are so many children without a real family: wife, husband, and children… We do know how God feels about this, he said an unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord! How she may please him.. married women care for the things of the world and how she may please her spouse, this would include sexual pleasures. YOung people are only acting out what they see and are doing it without education! I tell young people all the time and especially in my organization, sit your happy hips down and get educated before you give yourself away! there are too many young girls living in shelters and they go around and have sex with every boy in the place.. disgraceful! How can you every learn to discipline yourself if you are always reacting to your feelings? I thank God for not knowing a man intimately. I have respect for myself, the institute of marriage, and all that being with one man can provide for me..
Sex before marriage is the same as it always was. God’s word does not change. It is still fornication. It is still wrong. That it the problem today, many people think that they can change the Bible (God’s word) to mean something else today than it did years ago. It is still wrong. It really is a simple answer to this question.
GREAT ARTICLE!!! …EXPOSES THE FACTS, BUT PROPERLY RELAYS THE TRUTH!
Wow, such a great article, very insightful. I must admit, the closer my walk becomes with the lord the more I see the errors of ways and how people try to change the bible to cater to there needs and desire. Thanks for reminding that Gods words is still vaulable to today as it was yesterday and as it will be tomorrow.
By the way Shantel Williams, I applauded you for your convictions. AWESOME!
I do believe in what the Bible ordains for marriage and I’ll stick with that. I found the article to be enlightening to the Christian especially. To many folks in Gods house toy will premarriagal sex with no regaurd to God and the holiness of sex. Some men will say “she made me, she wanted it” and the women as well. But what are you saying to God? We have to learn to wait on God and not our self, stick to his word and his plan for our life.
I Love the article.
Unequivocally YES, YES! And before the second marriage too!
This is a great article, and the topic is one that I’ve been discussing lately with several adults about what to teach regarding abstinence. Most people feel that it is unrealistic. It may be unpopular, but I don’t believe it is unrealistic. If God requires it, He knows how to provide the Grace for us to accomplish it. I practiced abstinence for 12years before marrying my husband. I wasn’t a virgin, but I became a born again virgin. My husband wasn’t practicing abstinence before we met, however, God impressed it upon his heart as well, and together we endured, during the friendship and courtship stages of our relationship. Let me say that it was not easy. We both had been sexually active with other people before, which made our passions very sensitive. We had to take extra care and prayer to make sure that we did not allow ourselves to be put into compromising positions, like late nights in either of our apartments or other private places. We had to learn what that meant for us. It may be different for others. We both were well aware, that if we ignited those passions even through what some would believe an innocent kiss, it could prove to be trouble and we did not want the enemy to steal our testimony or devalue our relationship. There were times when we were both weak, and there were times when we knew we were in over our heads and treading a thin line. However in our weakness, God’s strength was made perfect and His grace was sufficient. So we learned together how to possess our vessels for the Lord and God blessed us and honored our relationship and He kept us even when we did not want to be kept! This is not unrealistic. It just takes a willing heart and a submissive will to the Word, Way and Will of God! We have to expect more of ourselves as well as from others. God is Faithful to do exceeding and abundantly above all we could ever ask or think! We have to take a stand for Jeus!
It’s still a “NO NO” and has always been so. We had better be very thankful our God is a longsuffering God, for in the bible days, ppl were stoned for this practice–remember the woman caught in adultery in Jesus’ day? The penalty (wages) was death by stoning, BUT Jesus in his perfect wisdom said, “He is without sin, let him cast the first stone”.
Did he condone her act? no. As Paul says, Shall we continue in sin, God forbid. We have all sinned and come short of his glory. 1 Corinth. teaches us about putting away childish things and become MATURE. Knowing that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit and that we are bought with a price–so let’s grow up, keep the clothes on and glorify God!! amen.
Great artical! We all say No. But we know there is sex going on in the church all kinds. Our teens don’t respect or accept just say no.. They are watching what we do… We must do better.
The world has taught/trained the church to look the other way when it comes down to SEX outside of marriage. Even more so with those “fake” pastors who tell their congregations to mind their own business. Don’t blame the devil, its mans FLESH that is burning to get some strange. How can a man take fire into his bosom and not be burned. Holla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I agree with mercedes, we have to be living example because we are the mature christians and immature christian learn from what they see and hear us do.
I love the article.Basically, Sex before marriage is a NO No. I am 27 and I am a virgin. the gentlemen that I am currebtly dating is also a virgin. We ahve vowed that we will keep ourselves pure until we get married. I tell thwe youth all the time. You say you cant control yourself, but just knowing my future husband and I will be each others first is worht the wait better yet knowing God is pleased is worth the wait.