“Clergy Sexual Misconduct: Exposing the Elephant in the Living Roomâ€
October 31, 2010 by Admin
Filed under Church, Gospel Today Features, Leaders
By Rev. Joel A. Bowman
Founder & Senior Pastor, Temple of Faith Baptist Church, Louisville, Kentucky
“. . . Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence, I say,
I’d rather see a sermon than to hear one, any day.â€
-Edgar Guest
We have recently been bombarded with allegations that “mega-church†pastor, Bishop Eddie L. Long, coerced several male members into sexual relationships. If you’re like me, your initial response was, “Not again . . . please say it isn’t so!†Though each of us might have our own personal opinion regarding Bishop Long’s innocence or guilt, no one in the general public knows what really happened. However, I hope and pray, for the sake of the alleged victims, Bishop Long, and the Body of Christ, as a whole, that the accusations are not true.
However, one thing is unequivocally clear. This scandalous situation provides us with the opportunity to openly discuss one of those “sick secrets†of the Church: clergy sexual misconduct. It is the proverbial “elephant in the living room†that we all see, some of us have talked about, but few have attempted to address. But, address it, we must, in a constructive, informed, and biblical manner. The “elephant†must be exposed, so that clergy sexual misconduct can be prevented, and our congregants will not be victimized.
Our first order of business is to define “clergy sexual misconduct.†Heretofore, we have referred to this in the following ways . . . “I heard, Pastor so-and-so had ‘an affair’ with one of his members,†or, “You know, Reverend so-and-so has always had ‘a zipper problem.’†However, whenever a preacher engages in sexual activity with a church member, or member of their faith community, that is more than “an affair,†or, “a zipper problem.†That is “an abuse of power.†There is a power differential between a preacher and “a regular church member†or “attendee.†So, for ministers of the Gospel to engage in sexual activity with members of their faith community, to whom they are not married, is exploitive and abusive of such persons.
Okay, I know what some may say, “Some women come to church to prey (that’s p-r-e-y) on preachers†. . . “They’re like ‘groupies’ on a rock music or Hip-Hop tour.’†While it is true that some women are infatuated with “men in uniform†(clergy robes included), that does not excuse clergy who engage in such illicit and inappropriate relationships. That would be tantamount to a doctor sexually exploiting a trusting patient, or a therapist using his or her power to manipulate a client for selfish gain. In the case of doctors or therapists, they could lose their license to practice, if allegations of abuse were substantiated. Whether forced or “consensual,†clergy sexual abuse is dead wrong, sinful, and yes, criminal. Ironically, though, sexual misconduct by clergy is only illegal in the states of Texas and Minnesota. Therefore, much work needs to be done in this area of legislation.
In 2008, my colleague, Dr. Diana R. Garland, Dean of the Baylor University School of Social Work, conducted a study on clergy sexual misconduct (also known as CSM). To date, this is the most comprehensive and significant piece of research done on this subject. As both a pastor and clinical social worker, I have been honored to serve as a consultant on this project. Dr. Garland’s research revealed that Roman Catholic priests are not the only “offenders.†Clergy sexual misconduct crosses all religious, denominational, and racial lines. According to Dr. Garland and her research partners, “clergy sexual misconduct refers to a religious leader’s sexual overture, proposition, or relationship with a congregant who is not his or her spouse or significant other.â€
Of the 3,559 respondents surveyed by Dr. Garland and her partners, in 2008:
• More than 3% of women who had attended a congregation in the past month reported that they had been the object of CSM at some time in their adult lives;
• 92% of these sexual advances had been made in secret, not in open dating relationships; and
• 67% of the offenders were married to someone else at the time of the advance.
• In the average American congregation of 400 persons, with women representing, on average, 60% of the congregation, there are, on average of 7 women who have experienced clergy sexual misconduct.
• Of the entire sample, 8% report having known about CSM occurring in a congregation they have attended. Therefore, in the average American congregation of 400 congregants, there are, on average, 32 persons who have experienced CSM in their community of faith.
This is a serious problem for which God will hold religious leaders and the Church accountable. But, in order to fix this problem, we must face it. Ignoring the “elephant†will not make it go away. Let’s face it; ministers across the country have even fathered children with church members they have offended. Some of these men remain in their positions, without serious consequences. We mustn’t bury our heads in the sand, and thereby, pretend that there is no “elephant in the living room.â€
The call to ministry is noble, indeed. God takes this call very seriously, for the Apostle Paul says, in 1 Timothy 3:2, the pastor is to be “blameless†or “above reproach.†As Bishop Long implied, none of us is perfect. However, this fact can never be used as an excuse for one to take advantage of God’s precious sheep.
Countless persons have been victimized by “preying preachers.†As a result, many “survivors†of clergy sexual abuse have either turned away from the Christian faith, or rejected it, altogether. Let us reach out to these persons with the unconditional love of Jesus Christ. Furthermore, let us pray that the “offenders†are brought to justice and provided the professional treatment that they sorely need.
My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!
Excellent Piece! We MUST deal with the elephant!
AMEN, WE MUST CONTINUALLY WATCH AND PRAY!!!! FOR OUR REDEMPTION DRAWS NEAR. THERE’S A SHAKEN IN THE EARTH AND FOR THE CLERGY AND THE LAY MEMBERS,WE MUST KNOW GOD FOR OURSELVES WITH A SPIRIT OF DISCERNMENT AND NOT JUST LOOK TO OUR CLERGYMEN AND WOMEN BUT LOOK TO THE HILLS FROM WHICH COMETH OUR HELP, OUR HELP COMES FROM THE LORD. THE ENEMY WILL ONLY REIGN FOR A PERIOD OF TIME AND HE IS NOW BEING EXPOSED, NOW AS PEOPLE OF GOD WHAT WILL WE DO. STOP MAKING EXCUSES AND COVERING UP SIN, SIN SEPERATES US FROM THE LOVE OF CHRIST. WE ARE TO LIVE LIFE IN HOLINESS, AND SET APART FROM THE WORLD, GODS IS NOT SLEEP AND TRULY HE SEES AND KNOWS ALL. HE SEES THE EVIL AND WE SEE ALSO, I ASK AGAIN WHAT WILL WE DO WHEN A SITUATION ARISE AS THIS ONE IN OUR CHURCH. WILL WE WATCH AND PRAY OR WILL WE BE IN SHAME. LIFT UP YOUR HEADS OH YEAH PEOPLE AND BE FOREVER LIFTED UP!!! IN THE NAME OF JESUS THE CHRIST
THANKS FOR THIS ARTICLE. I WONDERED IF YOU WERE GOING TO “TOUCH THIS SUBJECT” BECAUSE EDDIE LONG SEEMED TO BE A GOOD FRIEND. I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE THAT YOU ARE MORE CONCERNED WITH MINISTERING TO THE BODY OF CHRIST AND TRYING TO HELP BUILD THE KINGDOM OF GOD THAN YOU ARE AT TRYING TO DEFEND PERSONAL FRIENDS. I KNOW WE DON’T KNOW THE ENTIRE TRUTH YET (AND MAY NEVER TRULY KNOW); HOWEVER, WE DO NEED TO HAVE GOOD INFORMATION TO MAKE INFORMED DECISIONS TO MOVE FORWARD IN THIS SPIRITUAL JOURNEY AND FIGHT. THANKS AGAIN!
I was pleasantly impressed by your article. It was very informative, realistic, and to the point. This is a very serious problem that has been going on forever. I have seen of it as I grew up in the Church of God in Christ–concerning opposite sex and same sex relationships in the church. I caused many people problems with the church. I wish there was a solution, but I am afraid that it will never be completely solved. One thing I will like to see is that our leadership taking responsibility in addressing this problem and providing discipline and counseling for the perpetrators. As I grew up in the church, I have seen and experienced Bishops letting preachers/pastors off the hook–time and time again. The victims were almost 100% treated in a very bad way. As an ordained elder, I sat in meeting after meeting witnessing this type of thing happening–pastors not being punished–acting if nothing happened–victims left in a state of disarray. NOT FAIR! I don’t advocate the preacher not being giving help, but the victim should also be given empathy. The problem is that so many too many of our bishops are guilty themselves. I have heard many times preachers say they can’t do anything to me–I know too much on them as well–I’ll mess them up! GOD PLEASE LET ME NOT ENTER THIS DOOR!
Well said Rev.Joel Bowman it is an abuse of power and it is absolutely wrong!!!
The last generation of church that i remember, made the preacher in cases like this “the sheep” and sat him or her down.
And I can already here somebody saying that’s judging that person, No! judge yourself and you won’t have to be judged!!! ( It must start in the house of God ) that’s the word of God, don’t get mad with me go to God about it!!
I am not one to judge because as a Christian I am not supposed to. So many saints are praying the wrong prayer. I have heard prayers always rebuking the enemy and calling the devil a liar. The devil is a liar is true, but should we always blame our actions on the devil? At times we say, the devil is a liar when we fornacate, or lie, steal, back-bite our fellow saints when in our hearts and minds we had a strong desire to do these things. We only blame the devil when it is brought to light. My prayer is different.. I am praying that the sinners do not turn their backs on coming to Christ because of the acitons of the church. I have heard so many say I am not going to church because all they want is money, to control, and sleep with women! I hate to hear things like this because alot of times it is true! We as the saints should really look at what we are doing in the body of Christ. I tell all of my friends on facebook and had a discussion about Church: the three ring circus! Are we really being like the Lord, or religious and shaping the house of God the way we want it to be. If he did it, may he go to God for himself, repent, and while he is in this process SIT DOWN! do not go in the pulpit until God forgives him. Often we want to testify and help people come to Christ.. I want to be lead by the sweet smell of Christ, not the elephant dang you are slaying in your circus! God Bless everyone and please pray for the right things to take place.
Well done!!! We must all be prayerful and honest.
Excuses as we are all human is not acceptable. Sin is Sin. Scripture is clear. Repent and allow God to heal the offender and the one offended as well as the Church.
Amen!!
As a Senior Pastor ourselves we agree with this article. Being a Pastor is a great trust by God that calls us and the people we Pastor. We should have great morals , values & integrity. We should never have sexual relationships, abuse or molest our Members rather we are single or married , even if they agree. We are to be role models, above reproach.We lead by example not talk and hype.
Excellent but much needed article………..
I agree with everything that’s been written today about this subject and believe me it happens. I was put in a position where I could have became a victim because the pastor of this small church in Ga definitely tried to talk me into having an affair with him. And he blamed it on the fact that he and his wife were having problems and she was listening to the church folks. He is a fraud and it really bothered me to the point I stopped immediately going to that church. And I feel alot of the members expecially females know and choose to keep quiet for feel of being blamed and no one believing them due to their past lives before becoming a Christian…
This is so true because I too have been part of a church where the Pastor had an affair, and watched as the church started falling apart, members left and then we were made to fill like we were just as guilty, with all have sinned and come short- we know this but what about -shall we continual in sin God forbids. The calling is high and leader are to be exsample 24hrs a day! It may seem hard but that’s why you said God called you. Its hard to preach to your church about anything when you are allowing satin to use you up. Of course we forgive because Christ forgave us but -you are the leader,you get paid have speacil days for you,you want respect but do you ever think about thats why our young men fill like they do about coming to church when they see you and here some of junk thay comes out of your mouths. We must pray we must pray fast and trust God to give us the right leader to help us on this journey!
This situation has raised some eyebrows, but honestly, the issue was not a surprise to the body of Christ. I think we were more shocked because of who was accused. Did we really think it only happens in the Catholic Church? Let’s be real. This is and has been a problem in the church. We need to educate our young minister’s and hold them accountable on what I call the “unholy” trinity of ministers- money, power, and sexual sin. These 3 are a powerful tool of the enemy and are generally what entraps most ministers and causes them to fall. The statistics in the article are low from my experience. This problem is rampant in the church, but we don’t want to admit it. People who have fallen have no one to counsel them, because no one else will admit to having had the problem. No one will walk them out of it because they don’t want to be associated with the issue or the person. It is just allowed to continue. Shame on us. Dr.Betty Price’s book, Warning to Ministers is a great resource.
I find it very disturbing that the so called Leaders of the Church in these last days are not banding together and taking a definitive and public stand against the new reign of Sodomites in the pulpit that are happily announcing what they have been doing in secret and yet have been preaching and praying for years from the pulpits before the Body of Christ. The lies and damage that is now being perpetrated against the Body of Christ and The Word of God is exactly what our Father revealed would be happening in these last days. Where is the commitment and conviction of these Church Leaders who have brazenly taken on the titles of Apostles, Prophets, Prophetess, Bishop, etc? The people in the Word of God that ‘earned’ these offices would never have kept silent about the unholy conduct being allowed in the Church today! And The Holy Spirit very specifically revealed to us through the Apostle Paul that this conduct is unacceptable in the Body. We want to make this evil conduct seem as if it’s okay by calling it “gay”, but the fact is: they are sodomites, and their conduct is and always has been an “abomination before God”. Jesus Christ died for all of our sins (including them) but to give the impression that they have obtained salvation without turning from the sin they willing commit is a lie. To entertain the thought that the Creator and Possesor of Heaven and Earth and the Seas made the mistake of putting males in female bodies or females in male bodies is a truly contemtable lie. It appears that many of these Leaders are afraid of the spot light shining on them. It makes you wonder what are they doing that causes them to keep silent about these atrocities being perpetrated in the Church?
YES, I KNOW FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE IN A LOW POINT IN MY LIFE – AND IT HAS CAUSED MUCH BITTERNESS AND ANGER AS I WAS RECALLED. IT HAPPENS AND NEED TO BE ADDRESSED ESPECIALLY IN OUR AFRICAN AMERICAN CHURCHES. I WAS NOT LOOKING FOR IT – BUT NOW THAT I LOOK BACK ON CONVERSATIONS AND THE TIME SPENT. SOME DO PREY ON THOSE THAT ARE WEAKER THAN OTHERS.
I applaud Pastor Bowman, and your magazine’s staff, for providing this timely and vital piece. All church staff-clergy, elders, deacons- must all be held and conform to the highest standards of Biblical sexual purity.
Unfortunately, as long as the church at large remains uncommitted to openly dealing with such sins, this sad state of affairs (pun intended) will likely never change. Pastors fear that disclosure of a sexual problem or sin will result in dismissal of pastoral duties. Deacons and elders fear losing their positions if they would choose to confess their secret sins. Sexual dysfunction in the Body of Christ needs to be confessed as sin so that the healing can begin. James 5:16 tells us that if we confess our sins to one another and pray for one another, we will be healed. A wise saint has said, “When we confess to God, we are forgiven; when we confess to a brother, we are healed.” If our leaders are not willing to do whatever it takes to remain sexually pure, taking the lead by example for their congregations, Christ’s bride will certainly not be spotless.
Daniel Mingo
Ministry Director
Abba’s Delight
Louisville, KY
Thank Pastor Bowan for bringing this article to light. It has been covered up TO LONG. God is not please with the betrayal of trust.
Thank you Pastor Bowan for bringing this article to the light. It has been covered up TO LONG. God is not pleased with the betrayal of trust.
I am grateful to Rev. Bowman (for many things) including this excellent article, and I am appreciative of the My Gospel Today website for publishing it. At the same time I am grieved but not surprised by some of the angry responses in the blog. Certainly we must face the fact that Clergy sexual misconduct (CSM) exists, and offenders should be held accountable. But painting all ministers guilty of CSM as monsters and burning them at the stake will not help them, their victims or the Body of Christ. We must remember that the Gospel of restoration was offered to the adulterous woman ( John 8:3–11.) as well as the incestuous church member at Corinth (1Cor. 5:1–12; 2Cor. 2:6–11). Even king David (guilty of abuse of power, sexual misconduct, and murder) was still referred to by God as a “man after my own heart”(Acts 13:22).
Let me be clear . . . we should not simply forgive and turn a blind eye to CSM, nor should we line them up, castrate,incarcerate, and execute them. Ministers guilty of CSM have deep spiritual and psychological problems that need to be treated ( not “mis-treated” ). Unfortunately, as Dr. Tonya McCampbell stated in her blog entry:
“This problem is rampant in the church, but we don’t want to admit it. People who have fallen have no one to counsel them, because no one else will admit to having had the problem. No one will walk them out of it because they don’t want to be associated with the issue or the person. It is just allowed to continue. Shame on us.”
The good news is, that there are now a few limited resources for ministers guilty of CSM. As a former (fallen) minister and founder of a support-recovery group for sex addicts A.R.C. (Addicts Redeemed by Christ) I know first-hand the value of both accountability and grace. Just a couple of helpful websites include :
http://www.faithfulandtrueministries.com/
http://www.sexhelp.com/
http://www.pinegrovetreatment.com/gentle-path.html
http://iamsecond.com/#/seconds/Lisa_Luby_Ryan/